Reasons why some stay lowkey in the dojo – what can go wrong

There are two things that make a club a red-hot place for trouble, and neither of them is the actual fighting.

#1.

The first is that a club is a highly charged place; we walk into physical conflicts there, lines are crossed, and we’re highly involved. Both on the mat and around it, as it is a strongly community-driven setup. So, most of the time spent in the club is spent being rather emotional than rational. While this makes it a great place to develop emotional governance, it comes with trade-offs.

#2.

The second thing is the cult surrounding coaches and senior trainers, who are seen as way beyond teachers of the art form or masters of techniques, but as masters of life and experts in every aspect of it. That makes fighters go to the club with their guards down, fully open, ready to soak up everything they are told, whether good or bad. Well trained coached can support in a broader areas of life, but it’s not something that should be expected as a standard in every club.

Many things can go wrong:

Brotherhood-based exploitation

The tribal culture is strong, and doing favors is fundamental. If one has a skill or a connection that can help promote the club, one will be expected to do it for free in the name of “supporting the club.” That means that many club owner’s personal business is presented as a charity, despite the individual business goals behind the idea of community. The feeling of belonging is so strong that until they are overexploited, most members won’t object, in fact, they will be happy to be useful. But the issue with favors is that when the balance is off, the sense of unfairness creates a lot of tension and ruins many relationships.

Belonging is the strongest human need, stronger than the survival instinct, because belonging to a community is how humans survive. We will do anything to avoid being an outcast, as we equate it with death. And it is used in every community setting, instinctively. Lines like “Don’t be that guy” or “Be a real bro” imply that you’ll be booted out of the community if you don’t conform.

Noticed or not, these emotions some clubs toy with are life-and-death emotions. The strongest, most impactful human emotions possible. Anyone with awareness will try to keep a low profile until they know more about how that community works.

Excessive levels of patronizing

The strong, supportive nature of a club is one of its biggest selling points. It is proven that working out works better in a social conext, as it pushes us to align and compete with our mates. It also comes with a natural hierarchy set up between belt levels. This hierarchy is valid, however, only in that specific fight sport context. The majority of the trainees are still adults with meaningful life experience in their pockets, yet are often treated like teenagers and seen as something less by older, more experienced fighters of the specific artform.

The truth is that white belts are only white belts in that specific martial art. They’re not white belts in life.

All adults in the club already have a plethora of skills, bringing their life principles and tricks from their life outside the club. They happily receive ideas and guidance on what to try, while preserving the right to decide for themselves. But when they get patronized like incapable children, the support becomes suppression.

Inadequate source of knowledge

The aforementioned cult around sport and martial arts coaches quite often pushes them toward a full-blown life-coach role, where they are expected to give dietary advice, psychological advice, lifestyle advice, medical advice, relationship advice. However, without backgrounds in life sciences, be it psychology or medicine, the majority of this advice is no better than a Google search and ideally should be double checked and tailored to own context.

It is crucial to understand that unless specifically educated in other disciplines, coaches are masters of their respective fight sport only, and very rarely reliable sources of medical or psychological advice. There are trends creeping in from other industries, such as drinking restrictions, or outdated core exercises that aren’t really effective in the context of fight clubs. It’s advised to look for a professional dietitian, life coach, osteopath, biomechanics professional, or whatever specialist you need, instead of relying on one person for advice in every area of life.

Conclusion

Overall, contrary to how it looks, those who keep to themselves in a club are often the ones who already know how much it can cost to be in a club if it’s not the right one. The safest approach may be to stay aware and keep your guards up until you can be sure that the principles of that club align with your own.